Krash’s College Survival Guide #4

It’s that time of the year folks!  BACK TO SCHOOL… It can be really exciting, dreadful, or somewhere in between.  Regardless college is a lot more than just sitting in a classroom learning life lessons.  This is where I come in.  The real lessons of college aren’t taught in the classroom they are taught through experiences.  Today’s lesson incorporates something very simple but very important to your development.

Lesson #4: Where to sit on the first day?

This is simple right?  Find the first person you know and sit by them?  WRONG..  Look if they are a really close friend I suppose you can’t escape.  However you probably have 5-7 courses and will not know everybody in all of them.  When people find a place to sit in the first week they are often stapled to that seat like their life (or education) depends on it.  Why this phenomenon exists I have no clue.  However you won’t want to put yourself by an idiot the entire semester.  When you walk through that door you have to make a split second decision.

Decision A:  Do I want to sit by the hottest babe/dude in the class?

Decision B:  Do I want to search for a smart study buddy?

It can be tricky but your intentions need to be made up.  To expect to get both in the same package is like saying you have a 1/4 chance to win the lottery.  I’ll start with decision A.  You don’t want to think with your brain, you want to get your flirt on.  I get it I get it, but this can be tricky.  As a male there will be three types of hot girls to search for upon class entrance.  Type 1, has a lover or male slave following her side.  That is not worth anyone’s time.  Type 2, is with one of her best friends, her protection, or one of her sorority sisters.  This option is tricky but often more rewarding.  Type 3, is a hottie by herself.  Perfect situation right?  Wrong it’s a 40/60 chance not in your favor that she is stand offish.  My advice is to go with type 2 if applicable.  Pick the target you are most interested in creating an alliance for the semester and get the flirt on.  Don’t sit beside her sit behind (less suspicious).  Make sure not to have a pen or scantron early on to create conversation, and crack a short joke.  By this time you have initiated your name and she has shook your hand.  At this point it opens you up for small time jokes.  Also let her friend in on the conversation.  Girls love when you can be friendly with there friends.  Her friend’s opinion on you will mean much more than her actual opinion.  Long story short, you have just initiated contact which is 75% of the battle.  So what happens to your friend you ditched for the chick?  The will eventually migrate to you, lets just hope it’s not another female! You have just constructed a “study group” with two chicks.  Just don’t expect to get much studying done!

Decision B in finding a smart first day study buddy is very tricky.  However if you remain in the first three rows of class you cannot go wrong.  The smarties like to be all up in the professors junk.  However a lot of them will be stiffs and not want to operate on your speed.  That is why you position yourself right in the middle of a pack and have intelligent convos.  Look you don’t read the chapters, I don’t read the chapters but do it to start.  Come into class and have a discussion with the suck ups and the professor.  You show you’re “interested” at least one of the clan will accept you.  This strategy seems silly, but when they start making study guides for you is it silly?  Exactly Mr. Krash you are a freaking genius.

I apologize to the ladies out there, but my strategies can be reversed to meet dudes too.  I just am not an expert in that :p.  Also if you make an initial first day mistake don’t worry.  These spots usually don’t lock up till about a week to week and a half.  You can play the field for about three class days.

-Krash

PS.  Dear freshmen if you ever want to meet cool people… burn the fish camp shirts.