Hookup Deal Breakers

According to a new study from the University of Ottawa and published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality revealed that friends with benefits, one-night stands, booty calls and casual sex relationships can ultimately help a person make better choices when they’re ready to enter a long term relationship. Though I am not convinced this ever actually works out without one party falling for the other, in the spirit of the holidays, I’ve decided to enlist your help and make a list of deal breakers for those who would like to test this theory.

Because you deserve to get what you want out of this bad idea.. there are certain things that should be taken into account when looking for a partner.

We’ve all heard them- the hook up horror stories. In fact, I could probably write a book about it, but it would be a very uncomfortable read.

Though the list applies to both sexes, gentlemen, please pay special and close attention. I’m here to help. Some things just need to stop– and stop immediately.

1. The “Head Move”

If you’re a girl, you know exactly what I’m talking about already.

If you’re a guy, we know where it is. Coercison is never okay.


If you’ve watched “The Virgin Diaries,” nothing kills the mood faster than being on the recieving end of THAT.

I would post a video of it, but it’s too graphic and disturbing for my taste. Bottom line here, once you reach your 20’s, you should have this action down pat. If not, you are bound to disappoint in other areas.

3. TMI

If a casual relationship is your bag, you have to keep it that way. That means no sharing of the apartment space or the boyfriend/girlfriend history.

Pre or post-hookup, no one wants to hear about your friend drama, and, please, don’t ever bring up your cheating exes.

Unless you’re moving, in I don’t want your baggage in my bedroom. If I was your shrink, you’d be on my couch.

4. Overconfidence

Don’t get me wrong, confidence is great. Pick up lines can be funny. But once you cross that line and begin referring to yourself in say, the third person, you’ll just be considered a #$@!

5. Sketchiness

If your hookup is a covert operation, you never go to the other person’s place, and he disappears at crucial times when you’ve already made plans.. not only is this a red flag.. but he’s probably married.

6. Alcoholism

This leads to something I’d like to call, sloppy seduction.. which then leads to something called disaster.

Anyone seen “Knocked Up?”


What are your hookup deal breakers?