Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles

That doesn’t even SOUND good.

Thanks Michael Bay for stealing my childhood.

Bay’s taking his own spin on the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie, and he’s completely messing up their original story in the process. He wants to make them aliens- ALIENS!

As any TMNT fan knows, the Ninja Turtles were created when four baby turtles fell into the sewer and came in contact with RADIOACTIVE OOZE. Then they were trained in martial arts by a rat named Splinter, who also fell victim to said ooze.

For some reason, I was unable to find the American version of the intro, but here’s one from other countries where they deemed “ninja” was too violent and instead called them “hero” turtles. And though frustrating, even THAT sounds better.

AND it gets worse. Here’s a picture of the abominations.

From ScreenRant:

Says Bay, “these turtles [in the reboot] are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable.”

Sure, teenage ninja turtles coming from space is really no less feasible an origin than being covered in ooze and then somehow gaining adolescent sentience, but that’s not the point! It makes that whole “mutant” part of their name a giant misnomer!

That being said, should we take “Mutant” out of the name, since they’re apparently no longer radioactive mutations? Do you care? Should people who DO care get a life.. or do we have a point? Has Hollywood finally gone TOO FAR?! Discuss.

I wish Michael Bay would get over his jealous sibling plan to ruin all my favorite toys.