Should I Dump This?

Disclaimer: For those of you that take this title WAY too seriously, I’ve already taken a$$hole out – and I’m not amending it any further. Not all these guys are a$$holes, and not all of these problems warrant a dumping.

Here’s this week’s SIDT email.

Katy,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. Its a very good relationship, filled with lots of laughing and fun!!!! We definitely both enjoy each others company. I’ve recently met his parents and siblings. He took me to his brothers wedding. We spend every weekend together (at my place) and I spend some nights at his place during the week.

I’ve mentioned here and there about him and I moving in together. But, he is not ready. I’m so confused at times with him, because he makes me feel like that is what he wants; and as soon as I mention it he says that I’m pressuring him. He buys stuff for my place and always uses the phrase “ours”, talks about marriage as well. I feel like if he really loved me as much as he says he does he would want to make the next step. He has told me that he will only move in with a girl that he is engaged to.

Then my next question is why does he talk about marriage? he is just playing around with me? or playing house? and if so – should I dump him?

-Clara

Clara,

First, I’d like to answer your question with another question..

Why on Earth would you want to live with someone when you don’t have to? Living alone is the best.

AND if he was just playing around with you, then HELL YES you should dump him..

But in all seriousness, dude totally already answered your question for you: “He has told me that he will only move in with a girl that he is engaged to.”

WAM BAM THANK YA MA’AM. I wouldn’t fault a guy for actually wanting to do things the right way for once. And, as for not popping the question just yet, maybe it’s money related or nerves.. or both.

Right now, just relax and enjoy spending time with him. And count your blessings you don’t have to pick his hairs off your soap.

Since I’ve never wanted to live with someone – what would your advice be? Is there some kind of couples timeline I’m blissfully unaware of? Would you give an ultimatum and then possibly kick his !@# to the curb?

Let me know!

-Katy

Texts from 23504:

You should def live together first before you get engaged. People are very different once you live with them

If he’s not ready, he’s not ready. Pump the breaks before you run him off.

agree with u… Why want the guy do something he really don’t want too.. PATIENCE?!

If he stated that he doesn’t want to move in until you are engaged then.. there is your answer!

Of course, the other side of it is that he already has all the privileges of marriage from you without any of the responsibilities. Why WOULD he want to take the relationship to the next step? He’s got the step he wanted. His talk of marriage is primarily to keep you ready and willing for the intimacy and the fun so he gets what he wants without needing to commit.

nine months is not that long, breathe.

This guy is just getting what he wants without making you a commitment or priority.

What he is in love with is the idea of marriage, the idea of being with just you, for always. The i-d-e-a. The reality scares the living bejesus out of him. Men are commitment phobic. It’s on that Y chromosome

Life is too short to waste your time on anyone who doesn’t appreciate you! Good luck, and God Bless.

He’s just not ready to commit. He’s playing you. If he loves you, and he’s ready to spend the rest of his life with you he’d be happy to get right down to it, and get engaged and make plans to marry you.

once you are on 3-5 years and you are at this point then start wondering if you should move on, but right now relax and just enjoy time together!

Some guys will purposely delay asking just because they know that you are expecting it, and that isn’t how they want it, they want to surprise you :) Ignore the subject for a few months, and if he brings up marriage, tell him: You don’t feel comfortable talking about marriage, until you are engaged! then let it go~