Here’s a pick up technique that I find appalling yet intriguing.
At first, I thought it was a joke that one of my favorite shows “The League” brilliantly cooked up. Andre takes Pete to the bar after he breaks up with Meegan and tells him that this is the new way to score chicks and to demonstrate it, yells something awful to a girl that’s walking by.
SPOILER ALERT: It doesn’t work. Andre’s wardrobe and bald spot aside, no girl will go for a guy who insults her.. right?
Apparently this is not a sitcom joke. PUA’s actually tell men that this works. The theory is that if a woman is attractive and constantly hit on, she’ll be fascinated by a man who can twist a compliment. A good neg is never downright insulting it’s just something like, “I like your hair – is it natural?” or “most people find gapped teeth a turn-off, but I think it suits you.” The woman sits there and thinks, wait a second, that was pretty much an insult, which (if the woman doesn’t *@&! slap the (@*!& outta the guy) should then theoretically spark up a conversation that the experienced negger will turn into a positive one.. or something.
Thinking back on this, I think I might have fallen victim to the neg. I went out with this real gem who told me he didn’t like my red hair, told me I should get a tan because he didn’t like that I was pale, and he didn’t like the fact that I didn’t have fake manicured nails.. you want to know what I told him? I don’t like YOU and promptly walked out.
Maybe he negged too aggressively? And instead of trying to backwards compliment me with an insult.. he went straight to insult? It was so frustrating because why in the world would you ask out a girl who embodies all the traits you do not like in a woman? All I know is I was not going to sit there and listen to this guy continue to harp on me, then expect me to go out with him again. That doesn’t even begin to make sense!
I’m going to go with the idea that perhaps this technique is plausible for women with low self esteem. Maybe if a girl feels she is not regularly hit on, then she will overlook the chauvinistic cockiness that negging entails. Other than that if you have to start insulting a girl to like her, I’d say your chances were slim in the first place.
With that in mind, I am willing to bet that if you are a guy and have tried this method a.) you are a @*!( and b.) you go home alone – ALWAYS. But maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong.
Girls- have you ever been negged? What did you think of this approach?
Guys- have you ever tried this? And if so, what was your success rate?
When did things stop being about compatibility and enter the realm of some messed up xbox game with clearly defined winners and losers? Why does everything have to be a game these days?
Last night I had a female friend call me to say she went on a great date. The guy had asked her and all was well with the world, until she asked him out the next day and he said he was busy. Now she’s theorizing that if he asks her out next, she’ll have to be busy because “she doesn’t want to look too available.”
I told her that was @#$%! If she wants to go out with the guy, GO OUT WITH HIM. Stop analyzing every text message, every voicemail, and just do what you want. If you have better plans, DON’T GO OUT WITH HIM. Pretty easy right?
She told me that this is why I’m still single.. I say what’s on my mind and if I want to do something, I’ll do it. Which apparently is not allowed in the dating world, as I have to make the guy chase me or something. This is also something my mom tells me quite frequently.
(Fun fact: Kate Middleton chased Prince William. BAM.)
So why I ask, WHY?
Why do we sit at home on Friday nights and wait by the phone hoping someone will call, when we are totally capable of calling him ourselves? Now, side note, I am very old fashioned.. so if a guy hasn’t started pursuing me, I won’t be the one to make the very FIRST move. But after you’ve already been out a few times, why is it that we put all of our faith in the Y chromosome?
I say we take things into our own hands, if you find out he’s no longer interested in the pursuit, guess what? Congratulations for no longer wasting your time on a loser who probably wouldn’t have been able to handle you anyway.
Something has got to give.. or am I totally wrong about this?
Revenge is a dish best served cold.. really cold.. as in a snowy football game with thousands of fans.
In a strategic act of revenge using permanent marker and a hugely public platform,a female fan gleefully called out her “cheating ex boyfriend” who was stuck watching the Packers beat the Chicago Bears at home while she enjoyed the game from the stands on Sunday.
If you missed it, here it is. For some reason the player wouldn’t load on my page.. but here’s the screen capture.
Have you ever gotten back at an ex in a big, public way? Tell me your revenge stories!
Special thanks to The Frisky for helping women everywhere judge the quality of their boyfriends this holiday season.
Vacation — together, of course: He’s paying for the two of you to go somewhere alone? For more than 24 hours? He loves you. Congrats girl, you’ve got a winner.
A signed and/or first edition of your most favorite book ever: This guy thinks you’re awesome in every way. Not only does he think you’re beautiful and funny, but he thinks you’re smart and thoughtful and has actually — shocking! — paid attention when you’ve spoken about your interests, including the life-changing impact reading, say, To Kill A Mockingbird had on you. He took the time to hunt down something that you will likely keep forever, which, thus, will also be a reminder of him for just as long, indicating he is invested in the relationship you’re building.
Incredibly expensive and uncomfortable designer heels: This dude is sweating your relationship, but it’s unclear if that’s in a good or bad way. This could go one of two ways? Get a pair of Louboutin pumps for Christmas from a boyfriend and on New Year’s he’ll propose. or get a pair of Loubs from a boyfriend for Christmas and be ringing in the new year with Ben&Jerry. In both cases, the incredibly expensive and uncomfortable designer heels were just his stupid, emotionally un-evolved way of settling his nerves and convincing himself “I want to be in this relationship — don’t I?
Super sexy lingerie: This seems like a gift that’s more for him, but I would rather a gift of sexy lingerie than no gift at all, and sexy lingerie at least indicates that he is having an awesome time having sex with you and would like to keep doing it for the foreseeable future.
Generic designer bag that you expressed no interest in ever: Consider this the opposite of the signed first edition of To Kill A Mockingbird. The guy who gets you a generic, logo-ified designer bag wants to impress you, except he doesn’t have any idea who you are. If he did, he would know you hate labels, don’t wear leather, and would prefer a signed first edition of To Kill A Mockingbird from a guy who actually listened to her when she spoke instead of checking his Blackberry for game updates.
Cooking lessons: On one hand, this is a creative gift. He didn’t want to get you something typical, like a pair of shoes or a cashmere scarf, and he went to great pains to think of something no one else would give you or had given you before. That is thoughtful. Or it is thoughtful if you’ve expressed a passing interest in cooking and he stored that nugget of info in his brain for safekeeping until this very moment. If you haven’t expressed a passing interest in cooking, a gift like this that has no real connection to any of your interests is more about him trying to be creative for gift-giving pride’s sake —“Look, honey, I got you something unique! Aren’t I creative?”
Diamond studs or some other piece of “introductory” jewelry: If this is the first time he’s bought you jewelry — a necklace on sale at Anthropology doesn’t count — congrats, he’s serious about you! More serious than he was about his last girlfriend, who only got a necklace on sale at Anthropologie.
A copy of Eat Pray Love or some other bestselling book about a single woman “figuring out” what her life means without a man in it: He’s going to dump you and is a little worried you’re going to go all bunny boiler on him. He’s also a *^
Earmuffs: Let me guess — it’s Christmas Eve and you guys have plans to go out to dinner! You excitedly hint, “I can’t wait to give you your gift — you’re going to love it!” and — though you don’t know this until right now, as I am explaining it to you — he quietly panics. An hour before he meets you at the restaurant, he swings by the local department store, asks the poor woman in accessories who’s sadly working on Christmas Eve, “I need a Christmas gift for the girl I’m dating” and she points him in the direction of these earmuffs. He crosses his fingers and hopes you like them because he really, really wants to get laid before he has to head to Long Island to see his parents for the holiday. The End.
Membership in a “Gourmet Ice Cream of the Month” club: *^ is dumping you. His loss. That ice cream looks good.
A flat screen TV: I have two pieces of good news, one piece of bad news to report. The first piece of good news — he is getting more serious about you and wants to stay at your place more often. The bad news — he really can’t deal with watching Monday night football — which, if he’s going to stay over more often, he needs to be able to watch – on your crappy television. The other piece of good news — you actually really wanted a new television! After all, you’re not a dope — you know that it’s much more fun to watch “The Real Housewives of Botox City” in high-def.
A gym membership: Who gives a @*!& what this gift means? Dump him, work out if you feel like it, and meet some other, less passive aggressive dude who appreciates your curves and cellulite and appetite and allow him to tap that.
Forget about the long lines, groping, and bad attitudes, the TSA has a new image! (and it’s terrifying)
Because airports aren’t bad enough.
You’re not fooling anyone guys.