Every week my inbox runneth over with problems from our listeners – especially dating problems.
No, I’m not *nor have I ever claimed to be* an expert when it comes to matters of the heart.. every week I merely voice my opinion and then ask the audience for their input.
Your family and friends are obviously going to have a bias in any given situation, so what I am offering you here is a bevy of strangers, all eager to share their wisdom and experience with you.
So here’s this week’s SIDTA email from Karen.
I am going to keep this short and sweet. My boyfriend recently told me his list of priorities.
Where do I fall on this list? If I had to guess, it would be towards the bottom.
The thing is, I get that his job is important to him. I just basically want to know if any good can come out of the phrase, “I think we should spend less time together.”
Should I dump this a$$hole?
Here’s why this is hard.
I have totally been in this same situation. When I was in Houston I worked everyday for 2 years. I get it. My job was my top priority, and I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t understand that. My time and energy were so focused on that one aspect of my life, it was difficult for me to give anything to anybody else.
And at the end of the day, I theorized, this should be a good quality right? I am driven, focused, goal-oriented, all traits that someone should be looking for in a partner.. so I didn’t see how I could be faulted for such a work ethic.
The problem with this though (and something I didn’t realize until much later), is the people I was dating then weren’t WORTHY of my time. Had I been dating someone amazing that I wouldn’t want to lose, you can @*!& sure bet I’d have made time for that guy.
Work is important. Everyone knows that. But there’s a way to tell you he needs to focus that doesn’t make use of the phrase, “I think we should spend less time together.”
To me that’s saying, I have better things to do than hang out with you, my girlfriend.
And when has that ever turned into something positive?! Never. NEVER.
DUMP HIM! With a mindset like that, HE’S not worthy of YOUR time.
Do you agree?
Some texts from 23504
Yes, dump him. He’s not interested anymore.
He just broke up with you. You didn’t get the hint.
Katy….. Just get them all “the book” ;D Roxi
HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!! LEAVE HIM!!!
Yes she should,if he’s going be like that he doesnt deserve a girl at all
If someone would have said that to me i would have said “is breaking up with you less enough time for you? Because that’s what I’m doing. You’re welcome!”
Been here, done that. It starts with the job and soon EVERYHING will be a higher priority than you.
Reminds me of that quote, “Don’t make someone a priority when they only make you an option.” DUMP HIM.
Definitely dump his ass! When he sees your world doesn’t revolve around him & that you’re moving on he’ll regret it. Someone that values their time with you is out there somewhere.
Why is this even a ? DUMP HIM.
No good can come out of a situation where you want to spend less time with someone.
Maybe a good idea…… but worded poorly?
…there no saving this situation. Tell her to get out and I’m available
That’s not such a bad thing. I’ve been dating my girlfriend over two years and we are with each other almost all the time. Eventually you start to frustrate the other person and get on their nerves and you just need a little more space
I think if you told the person that you dont want to burn out on yalls relationship and want to take things a little slower, and add in that you should spend less time together. It’d be reasonable.
Some times people have to realize what they have in order to hold on tighter. Maybe with less time he will realize he really cares about you.
For those of you that love Craigslist, here’s another fun time waster for you: Yahoo Questions.
Some of the questions posed online are so ridiculous, one can not help but lose faith in humanity.. until you read the witty responses.
I present to you some of my favorite least helpful yahoo answers on the web. For more, go here. (some mildly NSFW)
Chris Fernandez came back to the studio to play a few songs with his new band-mate and fellow Republic drink slinger Adam! Can’t wait for them to form their full band. Take a listen and make sure to come out tonight to see Chris LIVE at Ozona Grill & Bar for Party on the Patio.
Chris takes the stage at 8 pm!
We’ll also have $2 wells, $2 domestic drafts, and our $3 tequila sunrise shot. Tequila, oj, grenadine.. and a good lookin’ musician?
I’ll see yall there.
Today’s WYR is slightly influenced by the Olympics.
Okay sure, that’s totally a stretch, but it’s tough to make these relevant.
At first I thought, oh this is easy. Mariachi all the way..
Until I remembered a little film called “Braveheart.”
Bag pipes all the way.
Which would you rather?!
So today’s SIDTA email, is actually geared more towards DATING, but I’m so stumped by this, I figured it was worth sharing.
Here is a dating conundrum that I can not figure out. I need to hear from the people of the world at large who have been through this and have practical pearls of wisdom to bestow.
Here’s the email:
Went to dinner the other night with a very close group of friends. We work together and our bond is not only personal, it’s professional. In this circle is a guy I have been close with for the last two years. I think (and have always thought) there is some sort of mutual attraction between us, but we’ve never acted on it!!
So back to dinner. We are eating, having a great time, when fate leaves the two of us alone. He declares how beautiful he finds me, then plants a kiss. He tells me he loves me and can’t even look me in the eye.
The kiss is where it stopped, but that kiss complicated everything! Since I know so much about his personal life, I know he has a history of screwing girls over. I actually saw it in action… several times. He seems to pull away anytime he gets close to someone.
And to make things even worse, when he declared his feelings, or attraction, or whatever, he followed that up immediately by saying that he was afraid that he would hurt me or let me down in some way. He’s also told me going on a date seems almost “too formal.”
Other than our friendship, our professional realtionship is at stake here…and so is our group of friends. What if it doesn’t work out?
I know that on occasion, people go from being friends to more than friends. BUT HOW?
I’ve never been in this position before. The closest I’ve come is when I accidentally hooked up with a guy friend of mine after a long night on Northgate. It was awful and we didn’t talk for YEARS.
But I think this is different? I am confused.
How does one go from being friends to being more than friends? Is it even worth it? Please advise!
Here’s where I’m stumped. My mind says, don’t do it!
Don’t let lust get in the way of your rational thinking. You’ve had a bad experience in the past with a friend, and this guy doesn’t even seem too eager to take you out.
Dates are too “formal?” It sounds like he’s not really making an effort towards bridging the gap between friendship and romance. Sure. I wasn’t around for his dramatic declaration of love, but his words alone seem too smooth not to be suspect.
And lastly, hello? He pretty much WARNED he was going to hurt you!
I guess there’s always the “what if”.. but I think past trends are a good indicator of future behavior. This guy sounds like a great friend but a !*&~^ boyfriend.
If it’s right, it should feel natural. If you’re stressing or trying to force something, it’s probably not.
Then again, I’ve never experienced this. Have you gone from friends to more than friends? Has it worked?!
What do you think?!