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Beauty Supplies From Hell

Frito found this at GUYISM.COM. Strangely enough, Alli loves each and every one of these items. Here’s the segment.

8 Female Products That Make Me Glad I’m A Guy.

8 The Curling Iron The curling iron is shaped like a night stick, spring loaded and they’re commonly made from tourmaline, metal or titanium. They reach temperatures in excess of 200, and some of these hand-held nightmares may even reach temperatures of almost 400 degrees. The purpose of all of this? To curl hair. Alternative uses of the curling iron include assault and battery.

7 The Eyelash Curler The eyelash curler, used to curl eyelashes in order to make the eyes look bigger, looks like some combination of a medieval weapon and a modern dentistry tool. Both of which are miserable objects to encounter, let alone use near the eye. Worse, some women heat the curler with a hair dryer before use. Because using a metal object near the eye is not enough, apparently it must be heated.

6 Spanx Spanx is a popular brand of “shape wear” used to give women a slim and shapely appearance. The whole idea behind the squeezing material is to constrict the human body into a smaller space than gravity would allow. They’re like the anti-Long Johns. No thanks.

5 Push-Up Bras Although they’re lovely for men to admire, that’s where the fun ends. Breasts are sensitive, and these gussied-up torture devices squeeze and pinch pairs of innocent snuggle pups together and upwards with wires and nylon. Adding insult to injury, they’re expensive. If I had to pay for an uncomfortable device that compressed my male parts, and then walk around in it for several hours, I would be pissed off. Impressive in leather pants, but pissed off.

4 Lip Plumpers This is actually a real product. Regrettably, I tried it for the purpose of composing this list, and it felt like ants were crawling on my mouth. Lip plumpers typically work by irritating the thin, delicate skin of the lips with ingredients like menthol or camphor. This makes the lips swell slightly, which may also diminish the appearance of fine lines in that area. So to summarize: lip plumpers work by damaging skin.

3 Stilettos Another device that operates by challenging gravity. Stilettos lift a woman’s heel up and force the weight of the body onto the tips of their toes. The result? Swollen feet and possibly leg and back pain. Notably, they make walking difficult. So for those keeping score, stilettos are footwear that hurt the feet — and make walking difficult.

2 Hair Dye Although not uniquely a product for women, it’s women who keep the hair coloring industry afloat. Hair-dying involves putting chemicals all over the hair and scalp. Adverse effects include temporary skin irritation and allergy, hair breakage, skin discoloration and unexpected hair color results. “Hair lightening” is also referred to as “bleaching.” You may have heard of bleach — a common household cleaner.

1 The Cuticle Cutter This awful little contraption is designed to rip away the cuticle. The cuticle, mind you, was designed by Mother Nature to protect a person’s nail bed from infection. Nevertheless, the cuticle cutter is used to shorten and cut away the cuticle — to make the nail look better. Hopefully Mother Nature appreciates irony.

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Was The J-Lo Cry from last night fake?

Lots of listeners weren’t buying it this morning, lots of you were. Alli says she thinks it was real but the producers exploited it for ratings. Here’s the video. Decide for yourself:

NEW EVIDENCE: Props to Austin’s Bobby Bones Show for creating this side by side comparison of J-Lo crying on Idol and J-Lo crying in Selena.

Here’s us discussing the cry on this morning’s show:

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How Young is Too Young For Facebook

Michelle Obama recently said in a Today Show interview that her daughters are not allowed on Facebook.

Here’s the video:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

What do you think? How young is too young for Facebook?

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The Denny’s “Grand Slam”

This is the Denny’s video we talked about this morning. This is going viral as we speak. It started over a dispute involving Maple Syrup. Really. One customer asked another to “borrow the syrup”. The syrup wealthy customer replied, “B***h, your pancakes look fine to me!”. That lead to the following:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxeZvUKpFbM[/youtube]

Here’s the conversation from the show:

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Urinal Cake Candles. They’re real.

Shel Winkley mentioned this on yesterday’s show. I decided to look for it when I got in because NO PART OF ME THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL.

Here’s a description from the companys website (HOTWICK CANDLES)

Bring the industrial chemical freshness of a public restroom right to your home.

We’re often asked if THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE smells like pee. It doesn’t. It’s a cinnamony floral smell that’s modeled after a urinal cake our founder once relieved himself on at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. This candle covers both number 1 and number 2 odors and has become a regular contributor in the HOTWICKS world headquarters bathroom. This is the perfect gift for anyone that likes tacos, asparagus, and really hot chicken wings.

Turns out it’s one of Shel’s fave candles. He loves the smell of “clean” and says this get’s it done.

Some of the other Candle Creations from Hotwick:

BACON

BEER

PIZZA

WHISKEY

AND YES…STRIPPER

Because I wanted to know too…Stripper apparently smells like:

The perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand… then add some glitter.

For reference, here’s the segment from yesterday’s show discussing the whole candle thing:

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Katy Dempsey

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