Every once in a while Alli and I get letters. Not emails, not texts. ACTUAL letters. Sometimes they are thank you notes, sometimes they are press releases….this is not one of those letters.
This letter was spawned by an on-air conversation we had about how HONEYBUNS were causing riots, murders, and more inside prisons throughout America. We also read a story that said some inmates had been using these delicious baked treats to sweeten prison wine. Thanks to this letter we now know we couldn’t have been more wrong.
ON INMATES ASKING RELATIVES FOR HONEYBUNS:
“Inmates do not ask for honeybuns. Or any other buns for that matter (OK, maybe his neighbors) but the point is…an inmate can only ask for money (only in regards to commisary). We can not have food or drink sent in from the outside. Period. Second, with few exceptions no inmate is going to ask his Mom…Dad…Wife…Brother…Sister…or any other family member to send him some money so he can spend it on ZooZoo’s and WhamWhams…i.e. sodas, soups, cookies, “honeybuns” etc…They are going to say they “need” money for necessities such as toothpaste..deoderant…soap…writing supplies…really…Think about it…Would you send your hard earned money to your dumba** brother so he can brush his grill or get fat on honeybuns?”
ON USING HONEYBUNS TO SWEETEN WINE:
“I know you were reading what was written but you do not “SWEETEN” homemade wine…you can…and we do…flavor it…But you don’t “SWEETEN” it because sugar is what’s needed to make the alcohol in the “wine”. I’m sure you know this but a lot of people don’t…Alcohol is made by yeast which is a fungus…the yeast eats the sugar and produces..i.e. poops…alcohol…not a joke…that’s why I smile everytime i read or hear something about wine tasters enjoying the bouquet of a wine…bug poop baby…you gotta love it.”
He goes on to bless us with his OWN PERSONAL RECIPE for prison wine…which I’m posting here:
1. Take one 18 oz empty peanut butter jar. Add 3 Teaspoons of sugar. Fill jar 1/2 way with cheap dried raisens. Fill rest of the jar with water. Put lid on jar loose so it can breath. Overtightening lid will cause jar to burst. Set jar somewhere warm and out of the way.
2.Wait 3-4 days.
3.Take a 1 Gallon Jug. Add 12 oz cup of sugar. Fill jug half way with canned 100% OJ (real juice, not Tang). Pour water from raisens into jug. Add the raisens too if you want it to cook faster. Fill the rest of the jug with more OJ. Place cap on loose. Place towel or paper nearby to catch extra moisture.
4. Stash it. Don’t leave your cell for 3-4 days (unless you are in central population…then it’s up to fate)
According to our source:
“If did right…3 to 4 days..cooking will have slowed…time to dish up…but note…as long as it’s boiling it’s producing alcohol…and it will continue as long as there is sugar in the mix…but you can’t wait too long or it turns…we’re talking 10-15% by volume”
5. Pop cap, strain out raisens, add flavor to taste (author prefers peach or watermelon cool-offs). Put on some music. Happy New Year Baby!
Gotta run and stock up for the first annual Candy 95 staff Prison Wine Party!!!
American Idol is one of the best show’s around at this. Besides Extreme Home Makeover there are few shows that can take you to tears from out of NOWHERE! It’s resulted in some both magical and EXTREMELY compelling television over the years. Alli and I found this list of the 10 Biggest Sob Stories in the history of the show. See what you think and let us know which one hit you the hardest.
CHRIS MEDINA: He talked about how he’s taking care of his fiancée because she was left brain damaged following a bad accident just two months before they were supposed to get married.
DANNY GOKEY: His wife, Sophia, died while having heart surgery just four weeks before he tried out for “Idol”
ANGELA MARTIN: Her father was murdered . . . her mother went missing . . . her daughter has seizures . . . and she was once disqualified for being briefly jailed on a traffic violation
DAVID FREAKING COOK: (Frito: Hands down, biggest tearjerker for me) David’s brother, Adam, was fighting brain cancer during David’s winning run on “Idol”. At one point, Adam’s doctors cleared him to go to L.A. to see David perform live. Adam died in 2009.
ASIA’H EPPERSON: Asia’h’s dad died in a car accident just two days before her “Idol” audition. It actually happened MINUTES after she called him . . . to tell him she was on her way to the audition.
SCOTT MACINTYRE: Scott was the guy who made it all the way to the Top 10 despite being almost entirely blind.
ANTHONY FEDEROV: After suffering complications of a breathing problem when he was little, doctors said they didn’t think he’d be able to talk again. He did, and he could sing, too. He ended up finishing fourth.
JOSIAH LEMING: Josiah was an 18-year-old high school dropout, who lived in his car. But he even admitted that he wasn’t homeless out of necessity . . . he was doing it to follow his dream
JIM VERRAROS: Both of Jim’s parents are deaf, and yet he said they went to every one of his shows to support him . . . even though they’ve never been able to actually hear him sing.
KATIE STEVENS: She talked about her grandmother, who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s. She said she wanted her grandmother to see her succeed before she forgets who she is.
I think it’s pretty effective. A) it can’t cause injury B) It causes a reasonable amount of discomfort C) It would make me remember EXACTLY what I did wrong.
Supernanny Jo Frost though says otherwise. She says it’s child abuse and irresponsible parenting.
I’m sorry, what??? Here’s a link to the story on CNN.
HOT SAUCING CHILD ABUSE???
Let us know what you think. Is this child abuse??
We had a blast playing these on Morning Candy so we decided to share them with our Candy95.com friends too!
10. Spongebob Squarepants
8. The Simpsons
6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
4. Scooby Doo
3. The Jetsons
Did your favorite get left off the list? Let us know by leaving a comment!
TO DONATE IN PERSON: We are broadcasting from the NEW LOCATION of Brazos Animal Shelter on Leonard RD. Take 2818 to Leonard and turn going AWAY FROM TOWN. Look for the signs. We are close to the Expo. You can also donate at ALL 5 WALGREENS LOCATIONS. If you can’t come out to the broadcast drop off your donation at your closest Walgreens!!
Meet (some of) The Cats!
Fergie: Sweet adult black and white cat. Calm and chill. Perfect for someone that doesn’t want the energy of a kitten.
Alli: We learned that there’s no such thing as a grey cat. They’re called “blue”. Alli is a young “blue” adult. Full of curiosity and love.
Nick Jonas: One of the “Jonas Brothers” (three kittens sharing a cage). Nick cracked us up yesterday as he thought the cardboard play box was his litter box. He’ll make a great kitten for any family. Very vivacious and fun!
Kevin and Joe Jonas: The OTHER Jonas’. All three are very socail kittens. Play well with eachother.
Frito: They named this one after me. This cat was literally climbing his cage trying to get at us to hold him. He’s as social of a cat as I’ve seen in a long time. If I COULD adopt another one…he’d be the one.
Justin Bieber: Very sweet “blue” kitten! Just like the other kittens, VERY well socialized.
Kitty Purry: Semi long hair. LOVES to pose for pictures.
Lady Gaga: This cat wants a home NOW!! Obviously used to having the run of a house, she’s ready to be out of her kennel for good.